


The Marauders Series

by dlupin05



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:07:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29929050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dlupin05/pseuds/dlupin05
Summary: The Marauders Series is from the perspective of Remus Lupin, detailing his experiences at Hogwarts alongside his new friends, and after school as well. This is going to be a long fic, lots of build up and character development as it goes through the years.Canon compliant for the most part (only will derive if I mess up) or some things are just easier to tweak slightly for story flowWolfstar is the main relationship, but it's very slow burn since it starts out at first year, so settle in!
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Dumbledore

Remus’s head was pounding with every second that he didn’t give in to sleep, and every bone in his body felt weak and begged to be sunk further into the couch and given relief, but he didn’t give in. While his body fell ill, his mind was wide awake with interest and curiosity. 

Through the tiny slits of his eyes that he dared open, he could make out his mother and father, standing just outside of the living room where he was supposedly asleep on the couch. From there, he had a good view of the front door, where his parents shifted around anxiously. His father was muttering something under his breath continuously, and his mother was clutching his arm fiercely, with a burning intensity alive in her eyes.

Remus felt a shared anxiety for them, whatever they were expecting clearly had put them on edge. He could feel his own heart beating faster with every moment, and he began to anticipate whatever his parents were anticipating. He didn’t mind the intense heart rate, though. If it weren’t for this intense anxiety bubbling in the bottom of his throat, then he would be fast asleep like his parents thought he was.

His mother paced through the living room again. She anxiously walked from one corner of the room to the other, running her hands through her hair every few steps. His father still stood in place by the door, continuously muttering with something in his hand… his wand. Remus should’ve realized he was casting spells, though he couldn’t see exactly what the spell was doing. Nothing seemed to be changing or moving, maybe it was similar to a silencing spell. Remus had gotten quite used to that one. He knew there were other sorts of spells that showed no change too - protective spells and such. But why would his father need a protective spell?

The answer came as quickly as it had arisen in Remus, as if someone was listening in to his thoughts. The door flew open smoothly, and immediately his dad’s wand clattered to the floor as he jumped back in shock. His mother stood frozen, immediately ceasing her intense pacing, and staring at whoever was in the doorway, though Remus couldn’t see who it was from where he lay. His parents stood in sort of a stunned silence, as whoever it was waited in the doorway for what could have only been a few seconds, but his parents' expressions - gaping mouths and wide eyes - made it seem like an eternity before the subject entered the room.

Immediately upon entering, Remus knew exactly who it was, or more what it was. A wizard. He tried his very best to stifle his laugh, that would surely give away that he was awake, but he couldn’t help being amused at the sight. Remus had seen enough wizards in his life to know the look, but it never got less shocking. This man in particular, was a sight to see. He had long flowing robes that shone in a pale blue, detailed with off white. His silvery white hair stretched almost as long as his robes, and his beard took on the same odd length. The man looked ancient, lines creased to show every possible facial expression. And over his strikingly blue eyes, he wore half-moon spectacles, which reflected the glimmering that was present somewhere in his eyes.

“Lyall Lupin,” the man said smoothly, inclining his head in a nod at his father. His father nodded back, though much stiffer and then stepped back a little bit.

The man must’ve taken this as some sort of invitation, and to Remus’s surprise - and apparently his mothers too - the man moved swiftly into the living room, closing the door behind him with a quick flick of the wand he held in his hand. Remus saw his mother give a horrified look as she stumbled backwards, placing an arm on the wall behind her to prevent her from falling down in utter shock.

Remus himself could not read the room at all. He had absolutely no idea what was happening. He went through the things he had deduced so far: this man knew his father, was a wizard, and his parents were for some reason surprised that this man had shown up, even though they had anxiously been waiting for him for the past hour? No conclusion settled in Remus.

The man seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that his mother had almost tripped over in response to seeing him, and gave her a pleasant smile. “I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure…” he said simply.

Remus watched his mother steady herself, removing her arm from the wall. “Hope Lupin,” she croaked out weakly. He gave the same curt nod to her that he had given his father, but she didn’t return it. 

Then to Remus’s surprise, the man quickly turned to face him, staring straight at the heap on the couch curled up in a blanket. For a moment, Remus forgot that he had actually been present in the room, feeling oddly invisible since he was supposed to be asleep. The man looked directly at him, with his intense blue eyes, and Remus instinctively shut his own so as to not blow his cover, but he could still sense the man’s eyes trained on him.

“And you must be Remus Lupin,” he said, right to Remus himself, no doubt. Remus felt a jolt of anxiety at the sound of his name, but didn’t dare move, was it not clear that he was asleep?

“He’s asleep!” his mother said in a low tone, suddenly whispering as if she was going to wake him.

“He’s not,” the man said simply. Remus felt his cheeks grow hot, surely he had given himself away now. But he continued to lay still, hoping he could fake it.

Remus heard the footsteps of his father, as he had finally come to his senses and joined them in the room. “He is asleep,” his father affirmed, his voice crisp with a hint of annoyance in it, “Surely, you must know it was a full moon last night.” Remus’s heart sank even further as new anxieties overcame him at once. This man knows about my secret… That's why my parents didn’t want him here… he’s going to tell people… he’s coming to take me away. 

Remus came to the conclusion very quickly, and was suddenly wishing he had taken the sleeping draught that his mother always told him to take, but he only ever pretended to take it. Now, he lay so still, not moving a muscle and barely daring to breathe. 

“He’s not asleep,” the man said again, and Remus could practically feel the man’s gaze burning on his face. The man knew. How did he know?! 

In a split decision, Remus decided that he wouldn’t go down without fighting, and pretending to sleep wasn’t going to help his case with that. So, with anxiety threatening to take him over, he opened his eyes and sat up. For that second there, he had completely forgotten of all his weakness that was still very present. Luckily, he remembered it before trying to spring up into a fighting position… he surely would’ve collapsed straight to the floor. But it was too late by then to pretend to be back asleep, he had already opened his eyes. Remus now felt entirely stupid as he had to use his right arm to hold his body weight up, as his muscles did nothing to help and only felt intensely heavy.

Seeing him open his eyes, his mother immediately came and took the spot next to him on the couch, which he was very grateful for because she helped hold him up. The way she was sitting next to him though, felt very defensive and she even had one of her strong hands wrapped tightly around his skinny calf. As the rest of his vision came into view, he saw the man give him a pleasant smile and take a seat in the chair that was directly across from where Remus now sat with his mother. His father was still looming in the doorway with a scowl on his face, aimed directly at the man.

“I’m Professor Dumbledore,” the man said to Remus as he settled in the comfy chair.

“Hi,” Remus said in a very weak voice, not exactly knowing how to greet him. Remus felt very small compared to the rest of the room, wrapped in his little blanket and holding himself up with a thin arm.

“You are not his professor,” his father piped up from the doorway.

Dumbledore seemed to miss the annoyance that resided heavily in his father’s tone, and wore the same agreeable smile, “I thought we might use this fine Saturday morning to discuss that very thing.”

“You are not welcome here, Dumbledore,” his father opposed sharply. But the man only chuckled at this.

“Oh, yes. I could tell… Undoing all those protective charms put me a bit behind schedule.” He gestured to a little gold watch on his wrist that had odd shapes in it instead of numbers, and smiled. “Anyway,” he carried on, “I wouldn’t have been so rude to enter here when clearly I was not welcome, if I didn’t have a good reason. In this residence happens to reside a future student of mine, and only he may decide if he wishes to attend my school.”

Remus could feel his mother’s grip tighten around his calf and saw her face flush with redness, “He is 11 years old! It’s not his decision!” she said, sounding horrified at the logic of this man. By this point, Remus was utterly confused. This man did not seem to be whisking him away to be locked up for his condition, but rather inviting him to a school? He vaguely remembered his father telling Remus of the wizarding school he had attended, but they were so cut off from the wizarding world - any world for that matter, normal or wizard - that he couldn’t be sure. 

“I’m sorry Mrs. Lupin, but it is up to him to decide, wizarding law permits it,” Dumbledore said swiftly. His mother scowled, and now was gripping Remus’s calf so tight that he felt like it would break off. He could practically hear her ‘Well I don't give a damn what wizarding law says!’ as she had said to his father on countless occasions.

“I’ve come here to have a private chat with Mr Lupin here,” Dumbledore gestured to Remus, who was still slumped against the couch in his awkward position, “And if he wishes to attend Hogwarts after I am done, then that’s what will happen.” 

Remus saw his mother make a movement as if she was going to protest, but Dumbledore cut her off before she could, “ - And I will use means if I have to. I’ve done it before and am not scared to. Though I really do wish that it doesn’t come to that.” His mother and father seemed to be frozen to the spot, somewhat as if this is what they had been expecting to happen, but also completely speechless. They didn’t say anymore, clearly this man - Dumbledore - would not make empty threats. 

“Well, then” Dumbledore sighed, relieved that they weren’t fighting back, “Shall we go for a walk Remus?” he asked, gesturing to the door.

“Um…” Remus said awkwardly, knowing full well that he wouldn’t be able to take a single step in the condition his body was in… but maybe the man wouldn’t want to take him if he knew how bad the condition was…?

“He can’t walk,” his mother answered for him, fiercely, “Like we said, it was a full moon last night.” 

“Ah of course,” the wizard said simply. “My mistake, Remus. I don’t know many werewolves.” Remus winced at the word. After this statement, Remus saw his mother shoot his father a look, which his father took with a clear understanding, though Remus had no idea what it was about. 

“Well,” Dumbledore continued on, “We can use this room, would you mind…?” His mother and father looked in disbelief that they were being asked to leave the room, but after they gave a collective scowl, and after his mother gave his calf another quick squeeze, they both left the room without saying another word.

Dumbledore cast a spell wordlessly over the room, which Remus took to be a silencing spell. Again, he was quite used to these, and in fact, one had been uttered the night previous.

“Well, Remus,” Dumbledore said cheerily, “How are you?”

“Fine,” he mumbled, still unable to get much out in his weakened state.

“I’m assuming you’re aware that your father’s a wizard?” he asked, diving into the conversation immediately.

“Yeah, but he’s not really a wizard. He barely uses magic and doesn’t work.”

“Ah, I understand. Yes, and as I’m told, you have been rather cut off from wizarding society?”

Remus shrugged. “I don’t see people in general.”

“I see,” Dumbledore said thoughtfully, “Well, what would you think about coming to a school - one where you would be able to meet new friends?”

“I can’t,” Remus said immediately, “I’m not allowed at school. My parents say it’s too dangerous for me to see people.”

Dumbledore only smiled though, “Yes, your parents may have believed for a while you wouldn’t be able to attend, but we’ve made arrangements specifically for you.”

Remus shook his head, Dumbledore clearly didn’t understand the scope of the issue. “I’m dangerous, I would hurt someone if I went to school.”

“You’re not dangerous aside from nights that fall during the full moon,” Dumbledore corrected, “And, again, we’ve already got it all figured out. You wouldn’t be posing any sort of threat to any of your classmates.”

Remus thought this over, his parents couldn’t keep him contained without all the special spells. “Is this a magic school then? You’re a wizard.”

“Yes,” Dumbledore chuckled lightly, “Yes, I am a wizard. And I am the Headmaster of this school I speak of, which is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. If you attend, you would learn how to use and control magic.”

“Like my dad?”

“Yes, in fact, your father attended Hogwarts. I taught him a long time ago.” This seemed highly uncomfortable to hear, to even consider his father going to a wizarding school... and being taught by this odd, old wizard? It seemed out of place. “And you’ve been on the list for Hogwarts since you were a baby,” Dumbledore added.

“So I can attend this school?” Remus asked, beginning to feel excited. He had never been allowed at regular school, considering people couldn’t find out. But of course he could attend a magic one! Why had his parents never thought of it? 

“Yes, if you so wish,” Dumbledore smiled, seeming satisfied by the eagerness of Remus.  
“And I can be around the other kids?” Remus asked, almost feeling like he was pushing his luck.

“Oh, well of course. Obviously, there will need to be some care taken to ensure the nature of your lycanthropy - your condition - is hidden. But other than that, you will go to classes, make friends, sleep in the dorms, eat meals just like every other student.”

“Well, then I want to go,” Remus said excitedly, he could just imagine it… having friends. 

“Good,” he said, clasping his hands together in a satisfied manner, “Well, I’ll leave you to sleep then, and I’ll go discuss with your parents.” Dumbledore began to move from his seated position.

“Wait - sir?” Remus said suddenly, “Um... why don’t my parents want me to go?”

Dumbledore turned back to him and seemed to mull this one over in his head, and thought about it longer than he had with any other questions. 

“Because they’ll miss you, and they worry about you and what could happen,” he answered after a long while. For the first time in their conversation, Remus felt like he was being lied to… Or not exactly lied to, but not being told the full truth. 

“What could happen?” Remus questioned.

“Nothing will happen. I’m sure of it, and I’ve told them this, but parents always worry - it’s in their nature. It’s not a bad thing, it means they care.”

“I don’t want them to be mad at me,” Remus said nervously.

“They won’t be,” Dumbledore assured him, “It’s your decision, and once they see how things go after the first few months then they’ll be happy for you.”

“Okay, then I want to go,” Remus said firmly, and he could feel excitement rising in his chest already. 

His parents were very unhappy about his decision. He knew because of the fights between them that he heard, all of which took place in hushed whispers, or late at night when Remus ought to be asleep. When Remus was around, they steered completely clear of the subject. They made it a point to act like he wasn’t leaving for the school in just under a month, and kept the conversation away from it. Remus even noticed his father using less and less magic, just so he wouldn’t have to bring up Hogwarts. 

About two weeks before he was set to leave, some packages arrived by owl - which he knew from experience meant it was wizard mail. His parents shoved the things away quickly into his room, telling him it was his second hand things that Dumbledore had sent to accommodate him. And once shoved away, they didn’t speak of any of these supplies, and he didn’t dare sneak a look at any of it until his departure, not wanting to upset his parents further.

Whenever Remus looked at his mother, he couldn’t help feeling pangs of guilt. She often pulled him in for long hugs, longer than usual, and would always stare at him with mourningful eyes. He would’ve felt like they were both being a bit dramatic, as he would be back for Christmas, and Dumbledore had assured them that the transformations would be completely safe… but there really did seem to be something else bothering them that they weren’t telling him. Remus assumed this was the very thing that caused Dumbledore to lie when asked about it. One night, he sat against his bedroom door, listening in to their conversation taking place in the kitchen.

“You know what he wants him for!” his mother said sharply, “You said it yourself!”

“Well, yes… I assumed, but who really knows.”

“It’s pretty clear isn’t it? Why would they willingly take one - well one of his kind.”

“He’s our son!” his father said fiercely, “And he’s going to school, where he will be well taken care of and will make friends and it will be the best time of his life, I swear it to you.”

“And after he’s done? Once he’s out of school? Won’t be so taken care of then!”

“Well let’s just hope it’s over in seven years… It could die out in a year for all we know, stuff like this has happened before, you don’t understand.”

“Oh, go insult my intelligence again! Jesus, Lyall! I’m sorry I wasn’t born a witch!”

“I’m not saying your stupid… I’m just saying it’s not a real threat, and whatever he’s doing with the werewolves most likely has nothing to do with Dumbledore.”

“You’re the one who told me this in the first place, and now you’re telling me I’m stupid for thinking it!”

“I didn’t call you stupid - I just-”

Remus couldn’t bear to listen to the conversation after that, and got up from his spot against his door. It’s not like he understood a single bit of the conversation anyways. He couldn’t wait till he just got there, got to Hogwarts, surely these questions would be answered. But right then, he didn’t need to hear how this debate was tearing his family apart.


	2. First Day at Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware the sorting's out of order - tbh kind of forgot it was alphabetical order when I first wrote this, but it flows better for how I wrote it anyways so I just didn't rewrite it when I edited

Usually in the week before a full moon, Remus’s exhaustion was something to be expected. He would spend his week, caved away in his bed, longing for it all to be over… just to have to do it all over again in a month.

But with the full moon coming in only three days, Remus was surprised to feel himself wake up in the deep of the night. In the very few hours of sleep he had found, his head filled with anxieties of his first day at Hogwarts. Now awake, his nerves were still too much for him, overtaking his whole body as he tried to force his thoughts from his head. 

Remus eventually gave up trying to go to sleep, but couldn’t move much farther from his bed in his weakened state - his mind might’ve been awake but his body was still taking the toll. He pulled back his curtains to the window that was placed right up against his bed, and sat, observing for what must’ve been a long time. He didn’t check his watch, but saw the first hints of sunlight, slowly coming over the field which sat behind his house. The sky began to turn a purple blue as the sun started to take its place in the sky. Soon, it was peering over the edge, shining light onto their overgrown garden that sat directly beneath the window. And eventually, as the pinks and oranges of the sunrise faded away, the sky became a light blue, giving light to a new day. 

Once he heard shuffling downstairs, he packed away his last few things. Remus had finally gotten to see what lay in the packages hidden away in his closet, and had found some rather odd objects. There was a cauldron, many books with all sorts of magical contents, and a wand, which was by far his favorite object. Apparently, since it was bought second hand, it might not work as well for him, but he didn’t really care, he just couldn’t wait until he was allowed to use it. Remus also found quills and ink in his things, which seemed highly unusual. Though, now that he thought about it, he could distinctly remember that his father used to have a habit of using quills until his mother forced him to break it. The last remnants of the packages were some plain black robes… which he was already dreading wearing.

Remus heaved his things to the kitchen, though his skinny arms could barely manage his trunk, shaking as he went. His parents barely spoke in the kitchen, only wishing him a good morning and then proceeding through breakfast with stony expressions. Finally, he and his parents set off to King’s Cross Station.

His parents didn’t come through platform 9 ¾ with him, as you had to be a wizard to do it, so his mom wouldn’t have been able to pass through. Secretly, Remus was grateful for this, as he conjured up an image in his head of his mom crying and dragging him off the train in front of everyone. 

But he quickly shook this thought away to give a sincere goodbye to his parents before he would be off to school for the next year. Remus couldn’t tell how he felt about leaving his parents. He was sad - in a way? But at the same time, some change of scenery was much needed for him, and friends… Remus couldn’t even wait.

His mother was beside herself with sadness, you would’ve thought she was sending her son to war. Her expression looked mourningful, and she pulled him into three hugs, each longer than the last, before finally letting him loose to say goodbye to his father.

His father seemed in good spirits for the first time in weeks, and Remus actually thought he saw a small grin appear on his face as he talked fondly of his memories at Hogwarts. He assured him he was going to have a great time, and made him promise to make friends… which Remus thought was ironic because a few seconds later he was given the lecture of not telling anyone about his condition, and being super careful to not let anyone find out, blah, blah, blah. 

His mother pulled him in for one last hug, giving him the same lecture about “his condition”, and then he was sent on his way.

Once he passed the barrier, he felt like a whole new world had overcome him. He felt some sort of relief come over him as he said goodbye to his parents, like he was letting them loose of a burden - himself. 

Remus made his way through the space - the platform was bustling with people, all clearly wizards who had tried to dress in normal clothes. Remus really wasn’t well rounded in the etiquette for either of the vastly different worlds, though he was almost positive that substituting swimming trunks for pants was a no-go. 

Remus quickly pushed passed the crowds of people mulling about the place, hugging, waving goodbye, catching up, it was chaos. Finally, he got through to the entrance of the train labeled ‘The Hogwarts Express.’ The train was magnificent on the outside, sleek and shiny, but it was nothing compared to the inside. It was huge. Of course, it looked large on the outside, but Remus was almost positive that magic had something to do with how spacious the interior seemed. Just in the entrance space, there were tons of witches and wizards, trying to track down friends and hugging - just as hectic as the outside of the train.

After pushing past that crowd, he was relieved to find that there were still plenty of empty carriages. He really fancied a nap, and though he had been nervously awaiting this moment for the past weeks - deeming it as the one and only chance to make friends - he decided that it would have to wait. 

His legs started to move slower as he neared his chosen carriage, one towards the very back so no one would bother him. His body became heavier, his legs almost giving out, his muscles aching with every movement. Surely, the hours of sleep he had missed in the morning were now creeping up on him.

Remus put his things on one side of the benches of the carriage, and then sat down on the other. This was somewhat because he didn’t think he could lift the trunk into the overhead compartment, and also because he hoped that if anyone tried to come into the carriage, they would get the hint that he didn’t want to be bothered.

He hastily threw his gray hood over his fluffy hair, and leaned into the window. The window felt so nice on his face, cold and supporting his heavy body, and he drifted right off to sleep…

When he woke, the window was significantly colder than when he had first laid down. He groggily opened his eyes, and peering through the slits of them, was only somewhat surprised to see that it was already nighttime. This kind of sleep was pretty normal for him, especially after staying awake the whole morning. Out the window, dim darkness had swirled their surroundings, and he could see the faint appearance of the moon - almost full, he noticed - shining weak light onto the water below it. He shuddered just at the sight and wished it was still daytime.

He rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up, but his body still felt weak, as it usually did when first waking up. Once again, his arm was used to support himself.

“Finally, you’re awake!” came a squeaky voice from the opposite bench, which almost sent Remus toppling from his seat, but luckily his limbs were incapable of making any such movement. Remus clutched at his chest, willing his rapid heart to slow down from the surprise.

“Jesus,” he breathed, and looked up to see who the culprit of the surprise attack was. It was a pudgy blonde haired boy, sitting smugly with his hands folded in his lap, looking utterly shocked by Remus’s reaction. His sharp, blue eyes were squinted with confusion as if he couldn’t possibly understand how Remus could’ve been frightened. Remus also noticed the boy had taken the liberty of moving Remus’s things - which were previously on the bench - up to the overhead compartment, and taking the seat for himself. Clearly, he had not gotten the hint. 

The boy now cocked his head at Remus, still looking oddly at him. “Sorry,” Remus said awkwardly, finally calming down, “You scared me.” But the boy's odd expression didn’t go away, and Remus slowly realized the boy was taking in his appearance for the first time, as it had been covered by the gray hood before. He saw the boy's blue eyes shifting from his mess of light brown hair - made worse by the hood , down to his forehead which held a few light scars from “his condition”, and then moving down to his eyes.

“Bloody hell,” the boy said slowly, “you can’t have slept in days.” Remus instinctively moved his hand to his under eyes, tracing one of his deep eyebags with his finger - the line was very prominent. The boy quickly averted his eyes, shifting them upward when he realized Remus had seen him staring. “I just mean ‘cause you slept for so long,” the boy said. Remus nodded, and yawned deeply.

The boy made it a point to make up for this awkward start, and dove into a long conversation with Remus for the extent of the trip, trying to be as nice as possible. He introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew. Remus quickly realized that their conversation was barely getting anywhere, as Peter seemed to just agree with literally anything he said. Remus said he didn’t have an interest in quidditch, neither did Peter, Remus really liked going to see movies, so did Peter… though Peter had also said he grew up with two magic parents and Remus wondered whether most wizards really went to see movies. 

Luckily, there wasn’t much of their journey left anyways, so he didn’t have to deal with Peter for too long. As Hogwarts came into view of the window, illuminated in the darkness of the world, Remus quickly changed into his embarrassing robes and began to get down his things - feeling stronger the longer he was awake.

When the train arrived at the station, Remus tried to lose himself in the crowd to get away from Peter, but he was like a rodent who would not go away. Somehow, through the mess, he was right there behind him, blabbering in his ear about how excited he was, or how cold he was, or that he was too hot, or it was too crowded, on and on and on. Remus didn’t say anything back, just stood in silence willing him to shut up.

A man called all the first years over, as all the older students went off down a different trail. To call this guy a man, would be an understatement. He was huge, towering over the first years, but he wore a wide smile under his mess of a beard, which made him seem much more approachable. He introduced himself as Hagrid to the group, and told them to follow him up a small path. Peter, already pretty tiny, seemed utterly terrified as he neared Hagrid, but followed along once he saw that Remus wasn’t scared.

They made their way up the path, and then neared a glimmering lake, reflecting the welcoming lights of the castle. Tiny boats appeared from the bottom of the lake, though they weren’t wet when they got into them. Peter got into the boat with him, and Remus tried his best to tune out whatever Peter was saying, as the boat ride was very relaxing otherwise. He thought he might be able to fall asleep under the warm light of the stars and Hogwarts, maybe if it weren’t for the moon looming in the distance - only a chunk of it missing. 

They went the length of the lake, and now were nearing the castle. Everyone was in awe at the sight of Hogwarts now - it had suddenly become increasingly more beautiful now that they could see up close. Remus couldn’t help but gape at the sight as well, it was truly a magnificent building. 

Hagrid led them in a side entrance, which led to a small, cramped little corridor. There wasn’t much space to move around in there, and they all talked nervously about what houses they were going to get in. Remus’s father had explained the house system to him - apparently he had gotten Gryffindor when he attended, though this didn’t really mean anything to Remus. He had no idea how any of it worked. Someone said loudly that there was a test they had to take, which caused heightened murmurs, but Remus’s nerves calmed more when Peter assured him that all they had to do was put on a hat and they would get sorted - his parents had told him. 

At one point, a boy accidentally tripped right into Remus.

“Sorry!” the boy said, still on the floor and dusting himself off, though it didn’t look like anything had gotten on his robes. The boy wore a huge grin on his face as he apologized, clearly finding the whole thing funny. Remus awkwardly bent down to help him up, “I’m serious,” the boy said to Remus.

“Huh?” Remus asked, confused.

“Sirius Black, my name,” the boy said, now on his feet, “Like the star I think, or constellation, I don’t really know,” he shrugged. Remus couldn’t help but notice that Sirius came from money. Something about his perfected accent, his flowy shoulder-length brown hair, the way his robes fit him perfectly. Even just his attractive face and defined cheekbones made him seem rich. Remus was immediately prone to jealousy, as he looked back down at his fraying, second hand things.

“I’m Remus Lupin,” he introduced himself. 

Sirius laughed, “Glad I’m not the only one with a stupid name, this prick-,” he pulled another boy forward out of nowhere,“Is named James Potter, isn’t that such a normal name for a wizard?!” James also gave off a wealthy vibe, but Remus couldn’t exactly explain how. His look was far more haphazard, with dark hair that was thrown around wildly, and round glasses that were half crooked on his nose. Yet, he had the same high class accent, and robes in perfect condition as well.

Peter suddenly joined the conversation, appearing at Remus’s side out of nowhere, “I’m Peter Pettigrew!” he said cheerily. 

After being introduced, Remus noticed James and Sirius glancing up to his forehead, where he knew a few light scars lay. At least those could be passed off as him scraping against something, and he also was thankful that his ill appearance from earlier seemed to have gone down a bit.

The boys talked to fill the minutes, as there was nothing else to occupy themselves with. Though Remus had never had friends before, he actually didn’t find it too hard to keep up with the conversation of the boys, but still, he didn’t have much home life to talk about. As they chatted, they began to hear the other room now bustling with noise, and were hoping they would be called out of their tiny room soon.

Like the others in the room, they resorted to talking about which houses they wanted to be in. Sirius and James had clearly already been discussing this on the train, where they had apparently met. James pointed to a hook nosed boy, with hair jet-black like James’s, and shoulder length like Sirius’s, but it was greasy and looked like it hadn’t been brushed in weeks, “That kid over there wanted to be in Slytherin, can you imagine?” James said. Remus observed the boy, he was talking with another first year girl, who had brilliant red hair. The kid looked in a worse state than Remus, with pale skin as if he hadn’t seen sunlight in his lifetime, and his mess of hair which looked like it hadn’t been washed in months. He, too, had fraying robes, but they looked far too long and fell awkwardly over his skinny figure. Though, Remus was also particularly skinny and frail for his age, so he tried not to judge.

“That kid’s weird,” Sirius agreed, “If he’s the type of person who wants to be in Slytherin, then I have no idea why my family makes such a big fuss about it.”

“What do you mean?” Remus asked.

“My family was all in Slytherin.”

“I’d never be in Slytherin,” James said casually, shaking his head in disgust.

“I hope I’m not,” Sirius agreed in a solemn voice, “I think my mother would throw a fit, but I’d rather not be forced to be friends with that greasy kid,” he said, jabbing a thumb back to the hook nosed boy, still deep in conversation with the girl. Remus felt disgusted at them, as James sniggered very loudly at this, in his high class perfected laugh. Peter began to immediately laugh too, after seeing that James was. Remus gave no reaction, and was just hoping that these boys weren’t thinking the same things about Remus.

“What’s that kids name?” Remus asked, still eyeing the kid with a hint of pity in his eyes. 

Sirius shrugged, “I forgot, it was some weird name.”

James looked like he was trying to remember, as a crease had formed between his eyebrows, “It was like Siv - no, like Snivellus or something, I don’t remember.”

“Snivellus?!” Sirius howled with laughter, clutching his stomach to contain himself.

“Well I don’t know!” James flushed, “you can’t remember either. Like you said, wizards have weird names.”

“No, no,” Sirius said, still gasping for breath, “Snivellus is perfect! I don’t care what his actual name is, we’re calling him that.” Him and James doubled over in laughter, and their laughing fit increased each time they looked back over at ‘Snivellus.’ Finally, they regained their composure, and Remus was very eager for a subject switch.

“What house do you guys want to be in then?” Sirius asked. Remus really didn’t know much about the houses, or what the problem with Slytherin was.

“Gryffindor, probably,” Remus guessed, “That’s what my dad was in.” The smile on James’s face lit up.

“Me too! Both of my parents were, I bet I’ll get in,” James said excitedly, “I think it goes by families kind of…” He glanced at Sirius.

“Oi! Let’s hope not,” Sirius said, grinning.

“I want Gryffindor, too!” Peter piped up. 

James’s face was beaming with excitement now, “I bet we all get it - Gryffindor, can you imagine how fun that’d be?!”

Soon, they were relieved to see the door swing wide open, right next to where the four of them stood, and a stern looking witch stood looking down at all of them. She introduced herself as Professor McGonagall, the Transfiguration professor, who wore a tight bun under her pointed witch hat. Remus almost immediately made a mental note to not cross her, as she already gave off an intimidating no-nonsense vibe, and he could practically feel her sharp eyes on them.

“Let’s move out to the sorting now, follow me!” she said, looking at them all. But before she turned she gave a glance at Remus, did a double take, and gave him a bit of a smile before leading them out of the room. Something about her breaking her intense expression to give him that smile, her sharp eyes softening at the sight of him, made his heart sink… she knew. Of course, he had expected that some of the staff would know, but did Dumbledore just go around telling everyone?

This thought was still on his mind as they made their way into a very large hall, lined with four tables, each decorated for a different house. Lots of the kids looked on in awe at the sight of the huge space, but some of the others looked around as if this was a normal, daily occurrence. James and Sirius were some of those few, glancing around carelessly with bored, glazed over eyes. 

At the front of the room, was the staff at a long table, and Remus glanced at all of them, wondering if they all knew. He could feel their beady eyes darting around, taking in all the new first years, and he was thankful that none of their eyes fell on him for an abnormally long time - not like McGonagall’s had. At the center of them, sat Dumbledore, who looked far less odd now that he was seated with other wizards, all dressed in the same funny robes. Remus looked at him for a long time, seeing if he would catch his eye and give him a reassuring smile, but he never glanced his way. 

Professor Mcgonagall explained how the sorting worked to all of them after sitting them down, and gestured to a small stool that sat at the front of the room. The process went quite slowly, and the older students at the tables seemed very bored, and were all immersed in hushed conversations of their own after the first few students. Remus could see how it would be boring if you weren’t taking part in it. 

People were called one by one, finding their way up to the stool and placing the hat on their head. Everyone was so small, that the black witch hat fell right down over their face. 

“How much you want to bet that hat gets caught on Snivellus’s nose?” Sirius whispered to James.

“You’re on,” James sniggered.

Sometimes the students would sit for a few seconds and the hat would shout out a house, but others had to wait a while for the hat to say anything. Two nasty looking boys, who were all scowling for seemingly no reason, got sorted into Slytherin one after another. A few girls got sorted into Gryffindor, and he heard James say, “Yes, we got the pretty one!” as the red hair girl that ‘Snivellus’ had been talking to went over to the red and yellow table. Her name had been announced as Lily Evans.

“You haven’t even got sorted there yet,” Peter muttered.

“I’m sure I’m going to get it,” James said confidently. And he was right. Only a few moments later, he was called up to the front little stool. He strolled up there with ease, completely ignoring the huge mass of students staring his way. Winking at Sirius, he sat down and put the hat on. He sat for about 20 seconds, which seemed to be a pretty average length so far, and then the hat shouted, “Gryffindor!” 

He beamed with pride as he strutted over towards the Gryffindor table, taking a spot next to Lily at it. Remus shot him a thumbs up instinctively, as it was hard to not be happy for him. He looked like he was on top of the world, and fit right in, already immersed into a conversation with an older looking boy.

Peter was next in the group, and was absolutely delighted by the fact that he got Gryffindor as well. His had taken quite a while, and the energy in the room was odd as they awkwardly awaited his result. It was by far the longest time they had waited for anyone, and the teachers were shooting glances at one another as the time stretched on. A couple older Slytherins shouted, “Choose already!” and started to whistle loudly, until they were shot a deep glare from McGonagall, shutting them all up.

But, once it finally shouted the result out, Peter seemed oblivious to the awkward energy that had settled, and bounced his way to the rest of the Gryffindors. Remus glanced over at the table, where James and Peter now sat, and could imagine James planning how great their Gryffindor dorm room was going to be. Now it was just him and Sirius left from their little group.

A couple more people were sorted into Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Then the hook nosed boy got called, apparently his name was Severus, not Snivellus.

“Still a stupid name,” Sirius muttered somewhat under his breath.

“Sirius isn’t all that either,” Remus snapped back. Though he said it lightly, he felt the need to defend the boy, as Severus had done absolutely nothing to them. Remus could only imagine what these boys would begin to say about him, especially as the full moon neared.

Sirius just smiled at this comment though, looking over at Remus intently. “Remus Lupin,” was all he said, and then he turned back to the sorting. Remus had no idea what to make of this.

Severus was sorted into Slytherin, just like he had wanted. Remus saw him cast a longing look over to Lily at the Gryffindor table, as he made his way to the table decked out in green. Lily returned the look, making a sort of sorry face, but then she turned back to the table, now talking with another Gryffindor girl.

“I’ll really kill myself if I get Slytherin now…” Sirius said, shooting looks at Severus, who was sitting quietly with the Slytherins. The two mean looking boys that had been sorted earlier were in a conversation, but Severus looked bored by it, and was looking down at his empty plate with hollow eyes.

“Will it really be that bad?” Remus asked him innocently, eyeing the rest of the table. Not everyone there looked as mean hearted as the two boys, or even as ungroomed as Severus - Sirius apparently was above that. 

“See that girl there,” Sirius said, pointing at a witch with bleached looking hair that curled down past her shoulders. She had a stern looking expression on her face, but Remus couldn’t help but notice that if she smiled she would look like Sirius. They both had a similar attractive bone structure, as Sirius’s face was very defined even for being so young.

“Yeah,” Remus said.

“That’s my cousin, Narcissa,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. 

“And then that one there…” he said, pointing to another witch who sat further down the Slytherin table, “that’s her older sister, my other cousin Andromeda.” Andromeda had darker hair, almost black, and the same bone structure as the rest of them. She, too, sat very stiff at the end of the table, but something about her presence felt warmer than Narcissa’s did.

“What’s so bad about them?” Remus asked, still not understanding why he was so persistent on not getting Slytherin.

“They just play into the whole Black family thing, you wouldn’t understand, it’s a huge deal I guess.” Remus was taken aback by him saying ‘you wouldn’t understand’ and felt like there was something more he was insinuating, but he held his tongue. “My mother always tells me how much of an honor it is to be part of the Black family,” Sirius continued, “We’re one of the few pureblood wizarding families left.” 

Before Remus had left home, his father had explained a bit about the blood prejudices to him, but only to emphasize his point about how dangerous it would be for people to discover his condition.

“I’m not pure blood,” Remus said suddenly, feeling the need to defend himself.

Sirius widened his eyes, “Oh, I don’t care,” he stammered. “That’s what I mean, they’re all so obsessed with that stuff… I think it’s all stupid, but there’s way more to it. My mother’s tried to explain it before, but my father says it’s nothing for children to know about and that we’ll find out more when we get older.”

“What more is there to it?” Remus asked, curious now. 

“Well, technically we’ve been at war since last year,” said Sirius casually.

“At war?!” Remus said, accidentally slightly too loud, and now a few of the other first years turned to look at him.

“Yeah, well most of the stuff was just rumors for a long time I think, there were some ‘attacks’ against muggles, but no one could really prove that wizards were behind it. And then it kind of struck a conversation about pureblood and muggle born, my cousin Andromeda told me it didn’t used to be like this.”

“Like this? So is it really a big deal then - blood status?” asked Remus, suddenly worried. His father had told him there were all types of nasty words for muggleborns, such as ‘mudblood’, but the way he had made it sound, no one regularly used that word or even cared about blood status unless they were super old fashioned.

Sirius considered this for a moment, “I don’t know if it’s really a big deal… My family seems to think it is, but I haven’t heard of anyone talking about it here yet.”

“So how did the war start then?”

“Well this wizard last year claimed he was behind the muggle attacks, but no one really knows how much truth is in that, and there hasn’t been much happening since then. People think the Minster is an idiot for even declaring the war in the first place… But, the way my mother talks about it, there seems to be more, but I don’t know. If you ask me, it’s just something that got blown way out of proportion.”

Remus nodded silently, and they went back to watching the sorting. He was stunned by the things he had been told. They were at war for blood status? No wonder his parents were so insistent on not letting anyone in on his secret… But Sirius’s family also seemed twisted in its ways, and Remus convinced himself that it was some traditional family thing that didn’t really affect him.

Soon enough, Remus was called to the front, and as he walked, he could’ve sworn he saw McGonagall give him another one of those weird looks. He was glad that he was towards the end of the group, as now pretty much everyone in the hall was bored of the sorting, and not paying attention to him. Sirius was looking directly at him, he noticed, and he had a soft, encouraging smile on his face. 

Over at the Gryffindor table, Peter and James were watching him intently, as he sat down on the stool and picked up the hat. He went to put it on, and it fell over his head, but before it had even gotten halfway down, it shouted out “Gryffindor!” Remus quickly removed the hat, not even having had the chance to get it all the way on. For a second, he thought he had imagined it, as no one else’s house had been shouted out as quickly. He shot a quick, nervous glance to McGonagall, who nodded slightly to him, confirming he hadn’t made it up in his head.

His knees felt weak as he shakily made his way over to the red and yellow table, and he could feel more eyes on him than when he had sat down the first time. No doubt, they were just as shocked as he had been about the quickness of his decision.

James was now grinning so wide under the Gryffindor banners floating above the table. “It’s all coming together!” James said as Remus took his spot, “Now we just need Sirius!” James found Sirius in the crowd of first years and gave him a thumbs up. Sirius returned a wide grin, and made a praying hand motion towards them. 

Remus was surprised by James’s excitement at Remus’s presence - he would’ve thought he would be getting poked fun at by now. Maybe they would just say it behind his back.

“It shouted it out so fast for you!” Peter exclaimed to Remus.

James turned back to them, “Yeah, did it even say anything to you?” he frowned.

“Say anything?” 

James shrugged, “It kept saying something in my ear about Hufflepuff, but in the end Gryffindor won out I guess.”

Peter now turned red, “Mine didn’t say anything! It was just silent for a while and then said Gryffindor, do you think that’s okay!?”

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Remus muttered, “It didn’t say anything to me either.” 

“Yeah, but you didn’t have time -”

“Sirius Black!” McGonagall’s voice rang out loudly, and their attention quickly shifted. A low murmur came from the Slytherin table at the sound of his name. Remus turned to look back at the table, and saw a Slytherin boy make a slow whistle with his fingers, until he was elbowed hard in the side by Narcissa. Andromeda was eyeing Sirius intently as he made his way to the front, with no expression crossing her face. She was completely unreadable. 

Remus also noticed, up at the staff table, an older looking professor had now started paying attention. He whispered something to the witch on his right quickly, and then kept his eyes trained on Sirius, as he picked up the hat. 

“Wonder where that one’s going to go,” an older Gryffindor said sarcastically. Apparently, Sirius was not exaggerating when he meant that the Black family was known for being in Slytherin, as clearly everyone in the hall was aware of it. 

Sirius put on the hat shakily, and it was almost just as quick as it had been with Remus. After only a few seconds it cried out, “Gryffindor!” The murmur of the Slytherins died out quickly as the hall fell to complete silence. McGonagall had a stunned look on her face, that she wasn’t doing too good of a job at hiding. Even for a second, Remus noticed Dumbledore’s usual pleasant expression break momentarily, shooting Sirius a questioning look, but his calmness came back quickly. 

Everyone in the hall seemed to be paying attention now as Sirius slowly took the hat off his head, revealing his pale white expression to the hall. His grin that he had been wearing only moments before had been wiped clean off his face, and Remus thought he looked more like Narcissa or Andromeda now, with the blank, stiff expression he now wore. 

Sirius cast a shifty glance around towards the staff, before placing the hat back onto the stool, and standing up. His small footsteps echoed loudly through the hall in the stunned silence. It seemed to take McGonagall all the way until Sirius had reached his seat at the Gryffindor table, to bring herself back. She had her eyes trained on him the whole way, but then shook her head quickly, bringing herself back to the sorting. “Bertram Aubrey!” she called out, and the hall fell back into its stride. 

A couple people still looked oddly at Sirius, especially Narcissa. Her stiff expression had turned into surprise, and then into a glare. Andromeda was looking at him still too, but her blank expression seemed to have softened. She wasn’t smiling, but something about it made it seem like she was. After eyeing him closely for another moment, and failing to catch his eye, she turned back to the Slytherin table.

James seemed to have thought better of saying any sort of congratulations to Sirius, and only simply put a hand on his shoulder when he had sat down with them. Remus was quite confused by this whole ordeal - Sirius had been badmouthing Slytherin only moments ago, but now looked almost terrified that his wish to get Gryffindor had come true.

Their little group didn’t say anymore while the sorting finished, all sitting in an icy silence. Sirius’s face was still pale, but he seemed to be calming down as the sorting continued. By the end of it, he looked almost back to normal.

Once it was over with, Dumbledore said he had a few announcements. He introduced a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Mercious, and that was the only apparent staff change. There didn’t seem to be much to Mercious. In fact, he had a rather dim look about him, and his gray hair and slight wrinkles weren’t helping his case.

Other than that announcement, Dumbledore said that they had a new tree put into the grounds, called the Whomping Willow. Remus couldn’t see why this needed a whole announcement for it, and looking around, everyone else seemed just as confused as he was. They deemed it another one of the odd things Dumbledore did, and continued on.

“Two more things before we begin the feast,” Dumbledore said, feeling the restlessness of the hall, “First off, for all new students, our heads of houses are as follows: Professor Flitwick for Ravenclaw, Professor Sprout for Hufflepuff, Professor Slughorn for Slytherin, and Professor McGonagall for Gryffindor.” Remus was disappointed to see that the stern looking witch from earlier was his head of house… he could already imagine how that would go.

And last quick thing,” Dumbledore continued, “I must remind everyone that the forbidden forest is off limits to all students. And with that… enjoy the feast!”

Immediately, their plates began to fill with food, which appeared out of nowhere. Remus, had of course seen magic used in his life, but never too often, and it was odd to see it used so casually. Lily Evans - one of the Gryffindor girls - looked just as fascinated at the sudden appearance of food, and Remus wondered if she was muggleborn, but he didn’t want to ask. It seemed like a touchy subject, considering the conversation with Sirius.

Sirius seemed to have regained his composure, and James deemed it appropriate to discuss their new arrangements now. “This is going to be great!” James exclaimed, “I can already feel it. Gryffindor by far got the best people,” he said, smiling at all of them. Remus felt a little warm on the inside about this, though he couldn’t help but feel it would only be a matter of time until he was made fun of like ‘Snivellus.’

Sirius and James dove into a conversation about quidditch, and James exclaimed multiple times that he was going to make the house team in his second year. Peter added to the conversation every so often, which Remus thought was kind of ironic, considering Peter had said he didn’t like quidditch when they had been on the train together.

Luckily, Remus didn’t have much to add to the conversation anyways, so he didn’t feel too left out as sleepiness started to onset. His head began to feel a bit foggy again, just like it had that morning on the train, and he began to feel himself nodding off throughout the meal. If Peter hadn’t accidentally made a scene by having water fly out of his nose, then Remus probably would’ve fallen asleep right in his mashed potatoes. 

The meal seemed to go on forever, and Remus was practically restless waiting for it to end. His muscles were starting to feel weak, and his hands felt clammy. Just looking at his food made his stomach lurch, and it took all that was in him to keep his food down. Course after course, the food just kept coming. He wished more than ever that he could be back in his bed at home, sleeping away this tiredness.

Looking down the table, the odd feeling in his stomach got even worse. Sirius, James, and Peter all seemed to be having a great time, chatting away, cracking jokes. Why did he have to be what he was? Why did he have to feel like this as the moon slowly started to piece itself back together? He would’ve given anything right then to be a normal kid, laughing with his newfound friends.

“Are you alright mate?” Sirius asked him, his eyebrows furrowed deep with concern. It took Remus a second to realize he was being talked to.

“I’m fine, I just don’t feel too good.” Remus could feel his skin growing hot and sweaty. He was surely burning with a fever, and was just praying that dinner ended before the onset of the chills.

“You look awful,” Peter said, as if this was the first time he had noticed his presence for the whole meal. His mouth was gaped open, no doubt taking in Remus’s ill look for the second time that day. James shot Peter a nasty glare at his comment.

“He’s sick,” James said to Peter, whose face now turned bright red.

“I know,” Peter said quickly, “I was just saying.” James was still looking annoyed, but let it go.

“Maybe we should take you to the hospital wing…” James said, glancing nervously at his appearance.

“It’s alright, really,” Remus insisted. He really didn’t want to have to go to the hospital wing on the first night.

“I’ll take you,” Sirius said suddenly, looking very concerned. He set down his fork and stood up valiantly from his seat.

“I said it’s alright,” Remus snapped at him. Sirius cast a look around at Peter and James, trying to get backup, but none came, so he sat back down. He looked back at Remus, “Okay, let me know if you change your mind - I’ll take you,” he said, and then returned to his meal. 

They let Remus sit in his weakened state, and didn’t try to talk to him for the rest of the feast. He was very glad for this, as he was positive all his words would come out shakily anyways.

Finally, the main dishes had ended and they just had dessert left. Remus returned to his dazed state, letting himself fall back into it. If he stared off into space then he wouldn’t have to look at the huge piece of cheesecake that sat on his plate, begging to make the rest of his food come up.

His mind felt detached when they finally all rose to get up. An older Gryffindor prefect was announcing that he would be leading them up to Gryffindor tower, but his voice became muffled as it reached Remus’s ears. Remus stood up with the rest of them, but his legs weren’t his own. They were sticks, but sticks that weighed him down. They were moving of their own accord, carrying the rest of his heavy body behind the group and out of the great hall.

“Remus? ...Remus?” 

“What?” he said sleepily, suddenly realizing he was being spoken to. His mind woke up a little bit, and his blurry eyes focused on who was talking to him: Lily Evans.

Lily gave him a funny look, “...Professor McGonagall wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh,” Remus said, stifling a yawn and trying to find his balance on his shaky legs, “Where is she- oh!” McGonagall was standing right next to them, wearing the same look of concern that was on Lily’s face. “Sorry, I’m tired,” Remus said quickly.

“That’s okay,” McGonagall said, giving a faint smile, but it wasn’t hiding her shocked eyes. He felt embarrassment rise in his stomach as she observed his clammy face, his shaky hands, the legs that were sinking him into the floor… Lily was still standing there next to them, trying to avert her eyes from him politely. Of course, this had to be the first impression he gave everyone, he probably looked on the brink of death.

“Evans, go on with the others, you don’t want to miss the password,” McGonagall said to her. Lily gave a quick look to Remus, but he waved her on, saying it was okay, and then she ran to catch up with the rest of the group. 

McGonagall turned back to him, “I was glad to see - you too Potter. Go on, he’ll be fine,” she said as James had just begun to make his way back to stand with him. James stopped and looked at Remus, but then with no other options, ran ahead to Sirius and Peter, glancing nervously back at him as he went. 

“Anyways… I was glad to see you sorted into my house,” she said, attempting a smile, “You can go on with your friends in a second, but we just have a couple things to go over for the year - for your, well-”

“Condition,” he finished dryly for her.

“Condition - yes,” she glanced around at the people still making their way out of the hall, “Do you mind coming to my office?” Remus could’ve groaned aloud.

“Um, could we possibly do it tomorrow? I’m... really... tired,” he said between yawns.

She thought it over, “Yes, I suppose. But first thing tomorrow when you wake up, okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed, thanking god there was nothing else standing in between him and a good night’s sleep.

“Why don’t you hurry along and meet up with the rest. If you run I’m sure…” but she stopped, as she must’ve seen the horror on his face at the word run. She gave a look of sudden understanding, “I’ll walk you.”

Luckily, Remus was in no state to be making conversation anyways, so he didn’t have to awkwardly make small talk with his professor. They made their way slowly up to the Gryffindor common room, and he spoke only once to tell her that his joints get sore near the full moon, only to make sure she knew he wasn’t a terribly weak kid usually. She led him to the entrance of the common room, gave him the password, and only left after he assured her he would figure out where his dorms were, not wanting to be caught dead with McGonagall leading him around the castle.

His heavy legs easily took him to his room, seemingly attracted to his bed and wanting to get there as fast as possible. When he went into the room, the other three boys might’ve said something to him, but he couldn’t even tell. Their words weren’t making it to his brain to be processed, maybe Sirius had said something about the hospital wing again. All he could think about was his bed.

It took all that was left in him, to spot which bed had his trunk by it. It was the one that had scrapes on the corners of it, not the freshly bought ones with initials embroidered in. He didn’t even bother changing out of his robes, just pulled his curtains shut and hit the bed.


	3. First Full Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters will start coming out more regularly (maybe daily?) I have all of first year written but need to tweak the earlier chapters :)

Remus woke, drenched in sweat from a long night’s sleep. His robes were practically sticking to him, and he wanted out of them as soon as possible, he absolutely despised this fashion of clothing, and couldn’t imagine how wizards possibly went about wearing these horrid clothes on a daily basis.

Luckily, Remus found his dorm room entirety deserted when he woke. He figured the others must’ve gone down to breakfast without him, which he didn’t mind. Remus didn’t really feel like talking much after his feverish entrance the previous night - what a humiliating start to this seven year ordeal.

Remus got ready quickly - knowing he still had to visit McGonagall’s office, eat breakfast, and figure out his schedule all in a short amount of time. Now that his head had settled a bit, not buzzing about with some overwhelming pressure from the full moon, he had time to fully take in their dorm room. He surprised himself by thinking it was utterly _beautiful,_ for lack of a better word that didn’t sound as girly.

Remus had been quite used to having shabby bedrooms, ones that would get torn apart after the first full moon anyways. He and his family never stayed in one place for very long, not long enough to call anywhere home. They were on the move constantly, which was okay for Remus. As long as they kept moving, he didn’t have to leave any friends behind, because he didn’t have time to make any. Not like his parents really let him out of the house to go play with the neighbor kids anyways.

But if Remus was going to live in this dorm for the next few years, he was thinking he could definitely get used to it. The room was accented with yellow and red, definitely for some Gryffindor house pride - which already felt immensely stupid, the houses reminded him of sports, pointless competitiveness with no good purpose.

Their room was filled with four beds spaced around the room, and then a great deal of space to move around comfortably in. On the side of their dorm that faced the grounds, sat two large windows, which were easing the morning light into the room, illuminating all of their belongings inside of it. Other than this, there were two doors in the room - one to the stairs and one to a bathroom. Strung about through this space were the other boys’ things - half unpacked trunks, a large quidditch poster laying on the floor near James’s bed, and some spare pairs of black robes laying loose next to Peter’s bed.

Sadly, Remus didn’t have time to look around the room much. He felt like spending an eternity in there just soaking up the feeling of owning a space as grand as it. But, he had to get to his professors’ office for their little ‘talk’ which he was not looking forward to, and he had to leave enough time to navigate through the complicated castle.

“Come in,” the voice of McGonagall replied as he knocked, the intense Scottish accent that just sounded accusatory for some reason. 

Remus opened the door, relieved to hear it was Professor McGonagall’s voice behind it; he had half-expected that he had somehow picked the wrong door in the mess of a castle - which was already taking him over with joy as well, everything was just so _fancy._

“Hi,” Remus said, awkwardly making his way into her office. Once again, there was the red and yellow - Gryffindor pride - so strange, it seemed childish. Off to the left of her office, sat a fireplace with two comfy chairs sat around it, and a red and yellow striped rug. To the right, was where McGonagall was seated, at a desk, which was already filled with countless papers.

“Why don’t you take a seat, Lupin,” she said, indicating him to the chair across from her with a bit of a nod.

“Alright,” he said, immediately taking the offer and not wanting to shift around by the door awkwardly for any longer.

McGonagall settled in a bit, “How are you?”

“Um, fine,” Remus guessed, not really knowing if she meant in general or in his physical state - either way, the answer was probably not ‘fine.’ But it didn’t matter, her eyes were already resting on his eyebags and various light scars, which she knew the cause of, so she could probably assume the answer on her own. Nothing had ever been fine for Remus.

“Well, we just have a few things we need to go over for the year,” McGonagall said, clasping her hands neatly together, “I understand Professor Dumbledore paid you a visit over the summer?”

“Uh… kind of. I mean, yeah.”

“And he explained the accommodations we have made for you?” 

“Not really, just said I could come here, I guess, if I wanted to.”

“Okay, well then, we have everything worked out nicely for you, me and Professor Dumbledore have been working tirelessly to work it all out,” she said proudly, “So I can assure you, everything is completely safe, all tested and everything.”

“Okay,” Remus said nervously. He still felt extremely uncomfortable being near people so close to a full moon, with the thought so long ingrained in his mind that if he stepped foot near a single other person, he was going to damage them in some way. And he was really hoping they understood the scope of his condition, even with his parent’s magical spells, he still found ways to tear things apart and rip up his own body.

“Well me and Madam Pomfrey - she’s our healer here - are going to work with you for the full moons to help you figure everything out. As I'm sure you’re aware, the full moon is this Saturday…” Remus wanted to scoff and say ‘obviously’, it’s not like his life had revolved around the full moons for as long as he could remember... “So, just meet me here in this office at 7 pm on Saturday, and me and Madam Pomfrey will walk you down, and show you how everything works, any questions?”

Remus knew there was a question burning inside of him, one that had appeared last night. So hesitantly, he decided to ask, assuming it would be better to at least _know._ “Er - does everyone - the staff, I mean… know about…?” 

“Me, Professor Dumbledore, and Madam Pomfrey are the only people aware, and if you had a different head of house, they would’ve been informed as well,” she said, decoding his scrambled words of nervousness. 

Remus felt a lightness fill his chest, he could handle going to classes with one professor knowing the true contents that lay inside of his skinny figure - though, he would’ve rather had _any_ other professor knowing this aside from the one sitting before him. He couldn’t shake the feeling of her piercing eyes, or mouth that seemed to just naturally fall into a thin line. Somehow, he had the feeling that he was getting in trouble, even though he obviously hadn’t done anything. But at least all the professors didn’t know, either with their pitiful eyes or frightened ones, he didn’t want it.

“Also, one last thing…” McGonagall added in a heavier tone, “I’m not sure how much time you’ve spent in the magic world, but I’m sure you know there is heavy prejudice against werewolves.” He winced at the word. “It is unfair, yes, but also means you have to proceed with caution here.”

“Yeah, I got it,” Remus said, almost feeling annoyed. Once again, his life revolved around the moon, his every movement was based off the calendar that sat in his kitchen, with the red marks over the horrid, cruel days. Being a werewolf was his entire _life._

“Alright,” she said, “Well, move along now to breakfast. I’ll be down in a bit to hand out schedules, you’re alright to go to classes today?”

Remus could practically sense her eyes on his eyebags, people were really not as discreet as they thought they were, “Yeah, I’m alright. Fine today, hopefully.”

“Well, if you feel yourself unable, please just come find me. I can help make arrangements, I don’t want you in trouble for something you can’t control.”

“Yeah, alright,” Remus said, knowing full well he would _not_ resort to doing that. He really didn’t need to be pulling himself out of classes on the first day, he already had a very wild start at Hogwarts.

Remus headed down to the great hall, desperately trying to remember the way he had been led up by McGonagall the previous night. The staircases, he realized, didn’t look the same as he had remembered them, but he just attributed that to his scattered mind, which was still feeling immensely heavy - it was like there was some added sense in the air that was overwhelming him, more than usual. After a lot of trial and error, he finally followed behind another student into the great hall. Remus thought they ought to give new students a map, with a castle this size.

James, Sirius, and Peter were all sitting together at the table, though it looked like Peter was more just listening to whatever they were saying and not participating. His face was completely blank, staring at them from the other side of the table, while James and Sirius were huddled together in close proximity, laughing away about something.

“Oh, Remus!” James said excitedly, seeing him as he entered and breaking away from Sirius.

“Hi,” Remus replied, standing stiffly by the table. He hadn’t quite decided if he should sit down next to them, was that weird? Surely not, they had all just met one another. He was being silly, he realized, so he took the seat next to Peter without any further hesitation. His plate immediately began to fill with food - a chocolate muffin.

“Are you feeling better?” Sirius asked, genuine concern present in his eyes as Remus immediately began to dig into the delicious looking muffin.

“I’m fine,” Remus said quickly, trying to straighten himself up to sit with posture like theirs, “Just was tired last night, I guess, long train ride.”

“Sorry we didn’t wait for you this morning,” James said earnestly, “We wanted to let you sleep.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Remus said, not really sure why they cared. They were random kids, he didn’t know them - they didn’t need to wait for him to wake up to come down and get _breakfast._

“All ready for classes?” Peter asked him.

Remus shrugged, “Don’t know, none of us have really done magic, so I don’t know what to expect.”

“Well, I’ve done _some_ magic, obviously,” Sirius said, “I mean everyone has kind of, even though it’s against the law and all.”

“Right?” James groaned in agreement, “My mother makes me help her with house chores all the time with magic, and I try to get out of it by saying it’s illegal, but she says if I’m any son of hers then I’m going to know how to clean a house.”

“Aw,” Sirius grinned, “Are you going to be our house elf around here? Make all the beds for us?”

“Pfft,” James said, “If I recall correctly, this morning you made your bed in that whole fancy routine.”

“Fancy routine?” Sirius asked defensively, “How else are you supposed to make a bed?”

“Not like if one wrinkle gets on the bed the world is going to end,” James said, laughing, “You were like doing a little dance, prancing around it to smooth it all out.”

“Oh shove off,” Sirius grinned, pushing James a little bit.

“Yeah? That’s all you got?” James egged him on, excitedly.

“I’ve probably got spells beyond your wildest _dreams,_ I’ll have you know.”

“Well, let’s see them,” James said, crossing his arms to show his disbelief.

“I’ll show you in class, massive wanker.”

“Nah,” James said confidently, straightening up his glasses, “I’ve got you guys all beat in classes, easy.”

“We haven’t even started yet,” Peter said nervously. He looked absolutely terrified that they both seemed to know so much about magic, much like how Remus was feeling. Remus’s parents had told him that wizards under 17 weren’t allowed to use magic outside of school, and that he wouldn’t be behind any of them, but clearly, that wasn’t the case. But he should’ve guessed that, James and Sirius looked extremely wealthy, _of course_ the rules didn’t apply to them.

Just then, McGonagall came bustling into the hall, a stack of parchment in hand. Like the other heads of houses, she made their way down the long table, handing out schedules to all of them.

“And there you are Black… and Potter… Pettigrew… and Lupin,” she said. Remus took the schedule from her and immediately began to anxiously scan the list. 

“Double charms with the Hufflepuffs,” Sirius said, looking over his own list, “I’ll beat you in that, James.”

“Will not,” James said, “I bet I’ll get the charm on my first try.”

“Ugh, look what else we have,” Peter groaned, “Transfiguration with McGonagall.”

“What’s wrong with that?” James asked.

“Have you even seen her? She scares me, honestly,” Peter shuddered.

“I like Transfiguration,” Sirius shrugged, “I once transfigured my mother’s toilet into marshmallows, didn’t go over too well with her, of course.”

Remus eventually became eager to just get on with the day and get his first classes over with. As they talked about their experiences back from home, Remus felt entirely out of his element, not having realized everyone here would be so experienced with magic. He had kind of assumed there would be more half-bloods like him, shut away from the wizarding world, but if there were, he wouldn’t know, because somehow he got stuck with three purebloods - just his luck.

After a bit more discussion, Remus headed on to double Charms with the other three boys. He figured he would try to stick by them for a bit, at least until he figured out what he was doing and where he was going.

Though, even James and Sirius, with their rich minds, couldn’t figure out how to navigate through the castle to their first class of the day. Remus was highly confused as they went, walking corridors and trying to ask for directions from older students, and once again, he realized the stairs looked different than they had before. Then, as they were standing on one flight of stars, finally headed in the right direction, they began to move around, rearranging themselves.

“Oh…” Remus said slowly, as the staircase began to move out from under them, “I was wondering why they looked different.”

“This castle’s mental,” James said, exasperated as they were forced to wait for the castle to finish its remodeling.

“I feel like they should give us maps,” Remus said, looking around at the intricate castle. There were corridors peeling off every which way, places that looked like practical mirror copies of one another, and _moving_ staircases - what kind of school?

“I’m about to make my own map right after this,” James agreed, also looking deeply annoyed, “I mean how do they even expect us to get to our classes in this mess?”

“Do you think we’re going to be late?” Peter squeaked.

“We already are,” Remus said, checking his watch and sighing, “It started two minutes ago.”

“At this point, I say we just bunk off,” Sirius said easily.

“Well, I don’t want detention on the first day,” Remus said, nervous by the seriousness in his voice. That didn’t seem like a very good start to the school year.

Sirius just shrugged nonchalantly, tossing his silky hair a bit, “Better than hauling around these stupid corridors, besides did you see the Charms professor? He’s like this tall,” he motioned a height that looked oddly close to the short stature of Peter, “What’s he going to do to us?”

“He can give us detention,” Remus said, reinforcing this. 

“Who cares about detention?” Sirius asked indifferently.

“We should probably go,” James agreed with Remus, thankfully, “That’s how you get on their good side, show up the first day and then you can do whatever you want.”

“That’s all it takes?” Remus questioned innocently.

James laughed, even though Remus hadn’t been trying to tell a joke, “I like you, Lupin,” he said, “C’mon, let’s go, we’re almost there now.” The stairs had now reattached, throwing them off momentarily until they remembered their way - thanks to Frank Longbottom, one of their prefects, who had pointed them in the right direction.

“You lot are lame,” Sirius said disappointedly.

“What?” James asked, “Don't think you can beat me in Charms anymore?”

“Nah,” Sirius said, grinning now, “Of course I can.”

Finally, they found their way to the Charms classroom, and everyone looked up at them as they interrupted their lesson that was already underway.

“So sorry we were late, Professor,” James said politely, suddenly talking in a much more adult-like voice than he had been previously.

Professor Flitwick seemed to appreciate the respect, “Oh, that’s quite alright boys, confusing castle isn’t it?”

“Tell me about it,” Sirius grumbled, “Probably took about thirty wrong turns on our way here.” This caused a few people in the class to laugh, and Remus felt slightly embarrassed. He couldn’t tell if they just thought Sirius was funny or they were poking fun at their inability to find the class when everyone else clearly had found it quite fine on their own.

“Well, why don’t you four go take that empty table back there, and everyone else, get started on the spell I just demonstrated. I’ll be back in a minute to show you, boys,” Flitwick said. They all happily obliged, and Remus was just thankful that they weren’t getting detention set on them already. Flitwick seemed chill, but something told him if this had been McGonagall’s class, it would be a whole different story.

“Yes, back of the class!” Sirius said excitedly, smoothly jumping into one of the seats with James following quickly behind. There were only three seats at the table and Peter scrambled to the last one, noticing this quickly. Remus felt a pang of embarrassment and began to head quietly to find a different seat near the front of the class.

“Oi, Lupin, where are you going?” James called to him.

“There’s no more room,” he said, feeling embarrassed - or almost left out, he couldn’t quite tell which one.

James rolled his eyes and drew his wand suddenly, “Accio chair!” he called loudly, waving his wand in a motion that made it obey his orders. From the front of the room, a chair came dashing to meet them, tripping over one of the Gryffindor girls in the process.

Sirius immediately began to laugh as the girl clattered to the ground, and James grimaced and jumped to help her, “So sorry about that!” he said eagerly, reaching out his hand to help her.

The girl ignored his outstretched hand and picked herself up on her own, straightening her look up as she did so. James awkwardly backed away and shrugged to the boys as he took the chair and dragged it back to the back table.

“Here you go,” James said, placing it at the table.

“Thanks,” he murmured, taking the seat.

“Are you alright, Mary?” Flitwick asked earnestly, just having now noticed the whole situation as he had been helping another group before with their charm.

“I’m okay, thank you,” ‘Mary’ said, pursing her lips and not even giving a glance back to James. She proceeded back to her seat, and found a small compact mirror in her bag, and was now over-analyzing her appearance as if the floor had left scuff marks on her.

“Feisty,” Sirius muttered, raising his eyebrows at James.

“Yikes,” James grimaced.

But Flitwick couldn’t care less that James had knocked Mary clean off her feet, because he performed their first charm with ease. Flitwick had come back to demonstrate to the four, since they had missed it, and showed them exactly how to go about levitating the feather that lay on their table with a spell. Remus was mesmerized by it,especially because he knew he would be able to perform it on his own only in a few short minutes.

But ‘a few short minutes’ ended up turning into multiple trials with very limited success. James and Sirius, on the other hand, each performed it on their first try, and then proceeded to tilt back in their chairs and chat about random things while levitating various objects around the room, which turned into a bit of a competition. Flitwick finally told them to cut it out after James attempted to levitate their whole table, forcing them to go back to smaller objects.

“Wingardium leviosa!” Remus muttered, trying to say it as quiet as possible so other people wouldn’t know he still hadn’t gotten it. But no signs of color sparked from his wand, and the feather still lay dead still on their table. Peter was in the exact same predicament, and looked to be feverishly sweating with embarrassment each time he failed again - at least Remus had enough sense to not look like he was about to have a panic attack due to his inability.

“Got to say it with more force than that, Lupin,” Sirius tutted from his leaned back position, “Watch… wingardium leviosa!” His wand was aimed at a quill sitting upon Flitwick’s desk, which was now moving up and down with the movement of Sirius’s hand.

“I’m trying,” Remus said, feeling embarrassed, “It’s just not working, maybe it’s my wand or something.”

“Nah,” Sirius said, “Ollivander’s has the best wands, easily, you’re just not putting enough force in it.”

“Right,” Remus said, obviously not having the guts to tell him that his wand was derived second hand and _not_ from Ollivander’s _._ Though, now he felt a little better, maybe his lack of skill was solely for this reason and not because he was completely useless at school.

“Yeah, it’s more like this,” James said, now holding up his own wand - unable to allow Sirius to show off skill without portraying his own, “Wingardium leviosa!” Lily Evan’s hair - one of the girls that Remus vaguely remembered from the previous night - started to flail about from James’s spell.

She clapped a hand to the back of her head and spun on him madly, holding up her own wand. “Would you cut it out?”

“Just thought your hair needed a bit of a fix,” James grinned.

Lily did not seem to take this as a joke, even though it clearly was since he had only been messing it up, “Well, I’d do the same to yours, but I don’t think it’d make much difference, it already seems to be flying around enough on its own.”

“Yeah, alright, Evans,” James grinned, but after she turned away from him angrily, he looked perplexed. As Remus continued to practice his spell, a crease had formed between James’s eyebrows as he attempted to flatten his jet black hair hurriedly, with little success. Eventually, Sirius tried to cast a water spell to help him out, but ended up just drenching him from head to toe instead. But Flitwick barely batted an eye as he dried James off with a spell, still going on about how well Sirius and James were already performing with the levitation charm.

Remus finally got the hang of the levitation spell towards the end of their double period, and was able to lift the feather a ways up into the air with ease. It felt thrilling to be able to control an object like that, since it was something he had only ever seen done before. But this excitement was easily diminished with the fact that he had pretty much been one of the last in the class to get the skill down, even after Peter.

Transfiguration was their next and last class for their first day, which so happened to be with McGonagall. Once again, they were thrown into a frenzy trying to locate the class. They had left class with the other Gryffindors, but they lost track of them quickly in the convoluted corridors.

“Okay, this is seriously too much,” Sirius said angrily, looking around at any hint for direction. Remus really just wanted to find the class already, as his limbs were starting to feel a bit weak and his head felt dizzy. Obviously, he wasn’t going to miss his first ever Transfiguration class, so he was trying to put on a brave face, but he felt _awful._

“Oh, there!” James said excitedly, pointing towards a classroom door. They dashed to it, tearing the door open and shoving themselves inside.

“I was wondering where our Gryffindor boys were,” McGonagall said, raising an accusing eyebrow at the four of them.

“Sorry, Professor,” James said sweetly, once again converting to his adult-like voice.

“Perhaps you four need to invest in a watch?” she added, not being fooled by James’s teacher voice like Flitwick had been.

“More like a map,” Sirius said easily, not seeming at all bothered by her stern manner, “This castle’s crazy.”

“Yes, that may do you well, but you’ll have to deal with that matter later, take your seats.”

James and Sirius immediately scrambled for the two seats in the back, leaving Remus to sit next to Peter in the table in front of them. Transfiguration didn’t prove any better than Charms at first. For one thing, Remus was feeling incredibly overwhelmed, he couldn't quite tell what it was. It felt like something to do with the moon, when all his senses were usually heightened, but he couldn’t tell what this new substance was that was overtaking him, making him feel almost tired from being forced to practically breath it in. His hands felt weak as he tried to take the notes over how to perform the first spell, and his head was spinning. McGonagall’s mouth was practically moving in slow motion as she spoke, “And…. then….motion is…. similar….figure eight….wand hand….”

Remus was suddenly being shaken awake, and he jolted up immediately, “What?” he asked sleepily, trying to refocus his eyes.

“McGonagall’s coming,” Peter said in a hushed voice, darting his eyes up to watch with dread as the subject neared them. Remus tried to straighten himself up at once, not fully registering that he had just dozed off in the middle of class.

“And can I see your work, boys?” McGonagall questioned.

Peter was practically cowering in the corner, refusing to be the one to go first, which was highly annoying - Remus had just slept through that whole lesson, obviously he didn’t even know what they were doing. “Go ahead, Peter,” Remus offered for him.

“Yeah, alright,” Peter said nervously, seeing no other option. He shakily held his wand high and closed his eyes as if to muster confidence as he said the incantation, aiming the wand straight at the match sitting before them. No change occurred, and Peter backed away a bit in his seat, looking heavily embarrassed.

“Keep practicing,” McGonagall said shortly, leaving him without further humiliation before turning to Remus, “And you, Lupin?”

Added to the unidentified substance rushing through Remus was dread now, as McGonagall and Peter both had their eyes trained on him. He lifted his wand and tried to mimic what he had just seen Peter perform, “Leviorin Foramensire!” 

Remus was thrown from his seat as a massive beam of light struck the entirety of the room, practically blinding him. He hit the floor hard and felt Peter fall at his side as a few of the girls dramatically screamed from the weight of the light. Remus took a heavy hit to his back, but now laying on the floor, he opened his eyes a bit, just enough to peek out and see McGonagall raising her wand at the flooding light that was overtaking the classroom.

“Nox,” she muttered drily, and the light quickly died, allowing him to now see the rest of the room, mostly laying on the floor from the kickback of the spell. Remus was horrified, knowing full well that he had accidentally just conjured that.

“I- I didn’t mean to do that,” Remus stammered, trying to calm himself enough to stand up.

“That was brilliant!” Sirius said excitedly, already back standing up and bouncing on his feet.

“Sorry about that everybody,” McGonagall said to the room as everyone else stumbled up, “Back to work, just an overenthusiastic spell.”

“What _was_ that?” James asked Remus incredulously.

“You’ve got to teach me how to do that,” Peter said, impressed, and looking at him with a new sense of respect.

“I don’t even know what I did,” Remus said honestly, trying to steady his hand which was uncontrollably quivering, “I just did what you did, Peter.”

“Well clearly not,” James laughed, “Peter’s didn’t do _that.”_

“Peter’s didn’t do anything,” Sirius corrected, turning Peter a shade of deep red.

“Lupin, are you alright?” McGonagall asked wearily, coming over to them now.

“Fine,” Remus said quickly, trying to stand taller and hide his embarrassment.

“We should learn how to do that, Professor!” James said eagerly.

“Are you planning on knocking out a classroom of students, Potter?” McGonagall said impatiently.

“Of course not, Professor.”

“Perhaps the great hall?” 

“Sounds more like it,” Sirius said, grinning.

McGonagall sighed, “Well, sorry to disappoint, but I don’t know what that was.”

“You mean you don’t know what spell that was?” Remus asked worriedly.

“No,” she replied, “You said the incantation correctly, so it’s probably an overreaction, or a faulty wand, no matter, it’s not a big deal. Let’s just not try that spell anymore today.”

“An overreaction?” Remus questioned.

“When emotions run particularly high, things like that can happen. But that’s alright, just cool down, you can practice it more next class.”

James and Sirius were both heavily impressed by his spell, which apparently should’ve been pretty advanced considering the effect it had on the room. They tried to work up their emotions, shaking themselves and holding their breath until their faces turned red, but they couldn’t perform anything near it. They enforced that Remus should be extremely proud, but he only felt overwhelming embarrassment, as he had accidentally thrown everyone to the floor. And, he knew it was from the upcoming moon too - he hadn’t quite deciphered if McGonagall had figured this too. But she had said it was from heightened emotion, and the wolf boiling inside of him that was begging to be released seemed to be just that.

Remus took an early exit to bed later that night immediately after dinner. The other boys didn’t oppose, just gave him a bit of a funny look as he announced that he was going to bed at the ripe hour of 7 pm. But he left them in the common room and headed on up to their dorm room before any further questioning could occur.

With no prying eyes to see his scars, he actually took to stripping off his robes before climbing into bed, not wanting to wake in another pool of sweat from the wizarding wardrobe. As he went to brush his teeth, Remus ran his fingers along the raised scars that were detailed over his skin, able to be seen now that his chest was bare. The red lines stood out against the rest of him, showing the marks of torture that he placed upon himself.

The scars had become increasingly more common as he had gotten older and as the wolf got more restless with a lack of prey. Remus’s scars usually healed on their own, not bleeding like normal wounds, unless the cut was particularly gruesome. Though, this had been happening more often. A number of times in recent moons, he had woken to deep gashes that needed to be quickly healed over by the help of his father’s magic. Just thinking about this made him incredibly nervous for the upcoming full moon, he didn’t know what to expect which just made it so much more nerve wracking, and he didn’t know Madam Pomfrey’s expertise level.

Before Remus could get too far into these anxieties, he resigned himself to his bed. And even in the early evening, he found himself sleeping soundlessly in under a minute.

Friday went just about the same as the first day. The only class of the day was Potions, which was a relief, considering Remus was feeling dreadful with the moon. It was a double period - plenty of time for everyone to brew up the potion Slughorn had assigned them for their first lesson. Remus had been very excited to be set some practical work, not really seeing how one could screw it up with the specific instructions.

However, Remus only made it about two seconds in and his potion already looked vastly different from the picture in his worn textbook - his was bubbling rapidly while the textbook showed a smooth, thick liquid. Peter, who Remus had to share a table with since James and Sirius were obviously sharing, seemed to be doing no better, with his own disaster simmering in his cauldron. They both looked helplessly at one another, but luckily, James and Sirius looked to be equally as confused as to how they were messing it up so bad - which was satisfying to see, considering they had been non-stop gloating about their magical abilities for the past day, especially after the added praise from Flitwick.

In fact, every single Gryffindor seemed to somehow be cursed with an inability to craft the potion - the only exception being Lily Evans. Her and Severus Snape were sharing a table, both closely knit together with exemplary examples of skill in their cauldrons. Theirs were exceeding every other Slytherin too, easily the best in the class even though somehow the Slytherins seemed to have a much more precise hand at Potions compared to the Gryffindors. Maybe it was just one of those things that Slytherins were good at Potions, even Slughorn was the Slytherin head of house.

***

“Morning,” a voice came from across the room the next morning - Sirius.

Remus immediately felt embarrassment, sitting up in his bed must’ve made a great deal of noise to prove he was awake. “Morning,” he muttered through the closed curtains, slipping his arm through to grab his robes so he could change without showing off his scars.

“What are you doing up here?” Remus asked, now dressed and able to walk into the open space of their dorm room, which was completely deserted aside from Sirius, who was sitting criss-cross on his bed.

“Waiting for you,” Sirius shrugged, bouncing up from the bed, “C’mon, let’s go.” 

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” Remus said awkwardly, following quickly behind as Sirius began to move from the room.

“Okay, I wasn’t _waiting,”_ Sirius corrected, “Those other two left me because I was still sleeping and I didn’t want to walk down alone.”

When they made it down to the great hall, James and Peter were absent, and Sirius figured they must’ve gone back to the dorm some wacky way and missed them, considering none of them had figured out the details of the crazy castle still. Sirius was also very upset to find that breakfast had already passed.

“Ughhh…” he groaned, “They need to just have meals for the whole day.” He threw his head down dramatically on the table in frustration.

“Sorry,” Remus muttered, “You could’ve gone. I would’ve been fine.”

“I wasn’t waiting for you,” Sirius reinforced, rolling his eyes, “Sleeping in is much better anyway, I don’t understand how those two even woke up this morning, I was exhausted from classes.”

“I can agree with you on that,” Remus said. Though, he was sure his need for extra sleep was for a very different reason.

“You know, we ought to figure out how to get to the kitchens,” Sirius said, looking around intently as if they would just appear. “That would be useful.”

“Can’t you just do a spell and make food?” 

“I don’t think so,” Sirius said thoughtfully, “Maybe - probably would just be easier to steal from the kitchens, though.”

“How would that be -”

“Hey, there you guys are!” James came bounding into the hall with Peter at his feet. “We saw you weren’t in the room.” James slid into the seat next to Remus, and Peter sat down on the other side by Sirius.

“Please tell me you saved food for us,” Sirius said desperately, still half resting on the table.

James grinned and pulled out two huge, chocolate muffins for both of them, holding them up like trophies.

Sirius looked over the moon with happiness, “You. Are The. Best.” he said, already chowing down on one of the muffins. Remus politely picked at his, not having the heart to say that he had absolutely no appetite. Plus, that would only lead to more questions… and the answer to all of those would be something he couldn’t say.

The boys chatted for a bit - more like Sirius and James chatted while Remus and Peter sat by adding in words of commentary every scattered moment. As they talked, the hall started to fill back up, now with students eager for lunch - Remus and Sirius must’ve really gotten a late start to the day.

“Ugh, I don’t want the weekend to be over,” Peter whined as two Gryffindor girls took seats at the table. Peter seemed to have been waiting a while to get a word into James and Sirius’s conversation, and _that_ was what he was going to add?

“It’s only Saturday,” James said with furrowed eyebrows, looking over at him with confusion considering he had just interrupted their elaborate conversation about _quidditch_ , _not_ the weekend _._

“Well, I know,” Peter said quickly, “I just wish it could be the weekend forever.”

“We’ve barely even started classes,” Remus said, feeling slightly irritated at him for no real reason that he could pick out. Maybe it was just the squeaky voice throwing him over the edge.

“I _know,_ I was just _saying.”_

“I kind of want to go to classes,” Remus shrugged, “It’s kind of boring here otherwise.”

Sirius and James now seemed to have sides with Peter in this conversation, as they both looked personally offended, “Boring?!” James gaped.

“Well, what do we do around here?” Remus asked. They had been sitting there aimlessly talking for almost an hour - maybe James and Sirius were having fun, considering they were carrying the weight of the conversation.

“We can do pranks,” James offered eagerly, leaning forward in his seat with passion, “I’ve already been making a list, but we have to get through the first week without causing much trouble, otherwise we’ll be on the teacher's bad list.”

“James has this whole strategy,” Sirius added through bites of his muffin, “We show them our skill first and then they can’t be too mad at us once we start getting in trouble.”

“Okay,” Remus said, not really knowing why they were _planning_ on getting in trouble, “Even if we’re going to do pranks, I don’t really know any magic.”

“Sure you do,” James said easily, “I distinctly remember getting knocked to the floor by your beam of light.”

“ _Accidental_ beam of light,” Remus revised for him, “I barely did the spell in Charms and then, well, Transfiguration turned into _that.”_

“It doesn’t need to be difficult magic for pranks, there’s simple spells,” Peter said, which Remus thought was _rich_ coming from the boy who had proven just as unable as him in classes. “See… aguamenti!” Peter pointed his wand at an empty glass, but nothing happened. The glass sat there completely empty and Peter’s face turned a hint of red. Remus tried really hard to keep his laugh in. _Easy spells… alright._

“ _I_ say we spend our free time finding the kitchens,” Sirius suggested, trying to distract from Peter’s embarrassment.

“I _just_ gave you food Sirius,” James said, shaking his head, “and lunch is starting like now anyway, you two woke up so late.”

“I mean later today. Imagine how nice that would be…” Sirius said, a wondrous look in his eyes.

“Even if we do find them, what are we going to do? Steal the food from the chefs?” Remus asked.

Sirius scoffed, “The chefs? You mean the elves?!”

“You expect a muggleborn to know what a house elf is?” Peter asked Sirius, laughing loudly as if Remus was some little kid, who, by the way… was _not_ muggleborn.

“I’m not muggleborn,” Remus said defensively, not hiding the anger in his tone. Remus knew exactly what the connotation was behind this assumption - because he had little magical skill so far, Peter thought he was muggleborn.

“Oh, I forgot,” Peter said, squirming in his seat, clearly noticing Remus’s tense voice, “I didn’t mean anything by it!”

“Why do you assume I’m muggleborn?” Remus asked, his voice raised, but he meant it as a genuine question at the same time. The _purebloods_ were really getting on his nerves, quite frankly, not the muggleborns. 

“Calm down, would you?” Sirius said, directly to Remus, which made him even more angry. 

“Because you don’t know any magic, for starters!” Peter said, throwing his hands up and ignoring Sirius, “I don’t know!” 

“Oh, like _you_ do, your aguamenti spell worked real well,” Remus said smugly, knowing he had hit on that one, “And you didn’t get the spells in class either.”

“I did before you!”

“Oh, well congrats. Second last in the class is giving you a pretty big ego for a person who can’t even do a water spell,” Remus said, not even knowing where these insults were coming from, but it felt good to just spit it out and see Peter contort with fury.

“Go on then!” Peter said loudly, “You try!”

“Can we all just calm down…?” James said nervously, as if he had never seen any sort of fight break out. Sirius was now ignoring the conversation and sneaking bits of Remus’s half eaten muffin.

Remus ignored James and pulled his wand quickly out of his bag, aiming it at the cup. He could feel some sort of energy rushing through his bones, and though he had never done the spell before, he knew it was going to work. “Aguamenti!” he said, and the glass filled, perfectly to the rim, with water. Smiling to himself, Remus raised the glass to Peter, “Glass of water, Pettigrew?” he offered, refraining from saying _‘Take that!’_

Peter looked furious, his face flushing with anger as he reached for his wand again. He sat still for a second, scrunching his eyebrows as he tried to come up with a spell to show off with. “Petrificus Totalus!” he screeched finally, but he completely missed. Badly.

Instead of flying at Remus, the body bind spell flew over his head, and struck an owl that was just flying in with the mail. The owl let out a little squeak of terror as it got hit square in the chest, and then began to descend quickly… right onto a Slytherin’s head. It was a first year - Remus recognized him from his Potions class the day previous, though, he couldn’t quite remember his name. There was a loud _thunk!_ as the bird's whole body weight crashed into his skull, and the whole hall turned just in time to see him fall backwards off his seat and pass out onto the floor. The hall quickly filled with awkward laughter, people trying to hold it in but being unable to contain it, and a couple people rushed over to where his stiff body lay.

“That hit Mulciber, Peter!” James said in a hushed voice with wide eyes.

Sirius immediately doubled over with laughter, tears springing to his eyes, as he choked on bits of Remus’s muffin that he’d been eating. Peter was frozen to the spot.

“We better get going…” James said nervously, still looking at the Slytherin table, “Avery’s going to come for us.” Sure enough, Avery - another first year Remus recognized from class - was now looking around furiously for who made the attack. It was not hard to find the culprit, as he was standing, wand still in hand, eyes wide, and mouth gaping open. 

Avery started getting up from the table, leaving Mulciber with the others, and began advancing on them. Remus immediately felt threatened - what had they gotten themselves into? Couldn’t they just leave Peter to fend for himself…? Then Remus realized that probably wasn’t the way one went about making friends.

Peter shook with terror as James started tugging on his sleeve. “ _Peter! Peter come on!”_ he said, willing him to go. Sirius’s face was bright red, as he clutched at his stomach in his silent laughter, ignoring the furious Mulciber that was running to catch them.

“We need to go,” James said firmly, taking Peter out of the hall. Remus decided he should probably follow, so he got up quickly, tugging on Sirius, and practically dragging him out of the hall. 

“Do you think I killed the bird?!” Peter squeaked once they were well away from the scene. Sirius had finally contained himself, but lost it all over again.

“The bird?!” Sirius asked, gasping for breath, “You almost killed bloody Mulciber, did you _hear_ how loud that thunk was?!” This threw him into another fit of amusement, and Remus was forced to awkwardly hold him up as they walked through the halls. Soon enough, Remus had joined in laughing without really meaning to. Sirius had such a contagious laugh, and after only a few more moments they were all laughing with Sirius - even James, who had kept his cool the whole time. 

They sat on the floor of one of the corridors, tears coming from all their eyes as they laughed. Peter seemed to be faking just to join in with the rest of their enjoyment, as he actually looked heavily embarrassed - or frightened - probably both. 

Even if they were going to get in trouble, Remus had to admit, it was pretty funny. However much Peter was getting on his nerves, that made up for it right there - the way Mulciber just passed out on the floor, and the owl bounced off his head. Sirius kept imitating the thunking sound, which sent them all into another fit of violent laughing each time. Remus’s stomach hurt by the end of it.

Finally, they picked themselves up off the floor, and made the rest of the haul to Gryffindor tower. Remus had hoped they had escaped punishment - or retaliation - as no teachers or Slytherins seemed to be pursuing them. But when he told James this, James claimed that Mulciber and Avery would get their revenge soon enough. He seemed pretty sure of this, so Remus didn’t question it. 

Luckily, Sirius had been smart enough to bring up some of the food during their hasty exit, so they ate lunch in the common room. Every few minutes they would randomly break into laughter about the whole thing all over again.

“Who was the one who dropped that owl on the Slytherin?” an older student asked loudly to the room, after coming through the portrait hole. 

“This guy right here,” Sirius said, grinning widely and pointing to Peter. 

The older student looked impressed, “That was brilliant!” he said, walking over to where they were having their little feast.

“Thanks,” Peter croaked out in a small voice, his face bright red.

“I’m Sturgis by the way, Sturgis Podmore,” he said.

James’s face lit up, “You’re the quidditch captain this year, right?!”

Sturgis nodded, and tossed his mop of blonde hair a bit, “Yep, first year as captain. Are you trying out then?”

“Can’t,” James sighed, “I’m a first year. Next year though I’ll try out for sure.”

“Nice, alright well I guess I’ll see you at next year’s tryouts…?”

“James Potter.”

“James Potter,” Sturgis nodded, “See you around,” he said, leaving them to eat.

“See you!” James said, all too enthusiastically.

“Dropped an owl on a Slytherin…” Sturgis muttered as he walked away, chuckling to himself.

“Happy over there, Potter?” Sirius teased James, who was practically sitting in a daze, watching where Sturgis just left.

“He’s the best chaser on the team,” James said in a dreamy voice, “I’m positive he’ll go pro. He’s really good.”

“Is that what you want to do? Play professional quidditch?” Remus asked him. 

James nodded passionately, “That’s the goal. I’ve got to make the school team first though.”

“So you’ll try out next year?” Remus asked him.

“Yeah, you guys all should too!” James said, turning back to them excitedly.

“Absolutely not,” Remus laughed. Sports were not his strong suit, his dad had tried teaching him football, soccer, baseball, all sorts of ‘muggle sports’ that he had picked up over the years, but none of it was of any interest to Remus.

“Why?” James asked, “It’d be great… Imagine us all together.”

“I don’t like quidditch.”

“Have you ever even played?” Peter asked, but looked like he immediately regretted saying that, as James and Sirius both shot him a look. Remus almost went with a sarcastic remark like ‘because I'm muggleborn?’ but then thought better of it, instead giving him the liberty of not starting another argument, though he was really getting on his nerves.

“No, but I’ve watched it, it’s just not my thing,” Remus said. _Technically,_ he had gone to one quidditch match before his accident with his father, so he was probably only about four years old and he didn’t remember a single detail of the experience. But, all sports just seemed so pointless to him, and Remus assumed quidditch was no exception.

Now, James looked deeply offended, but Sirius cut in before that could get any further, “So, prank plans?”

They spent the rest of the afternoon going through James’s haphazard prank plans, which all seemed very far fetched. Half of them seemed like the type of thing that would get Remus expelled from this school faster than he had come, one of which included attempting to lure ‘Snivellus’ into the forbidden forest and keep him there for a night - which Sirius was fully on board for even though they had only known this kid a mere three days. Other ones seemed alright, the fun, light-hearted ones that didn’t really cause much damage. Remus could get on board for those.

All of this excitement actually provided him a distraction from the full moon, and suddenly it was past dinner and it had crept up on him before he even had time to do his anxious worrying. Remus made a shifty excuse to his friends before heading off, saying that he needed to go to the library for something. Obviously, that excuse wouldn’t hold up after he was absent for the entirety of the night, but he could figure that out at a later time - he had much more pressing matters. Remus knocked on McGonagall’s office door right at 7 pm, and his heart was pounding with sheer fear for the night to come, just as it always did, “Come in.”

He entered the room nervously, and McGonagall was sitting at her desk, writing on a piece of paper. She didn’t look up at him, but said, “Why don’t you take a seat while we wait for Madam Pomfrey.”

They sat in silence for a couple minutes while McGonagall continued to do her work - she seemed to be very busy with some matter, though it didn’t look like grading assignments. It kind of appeared that she was crafting various letters, but Remus obviously didn’t ask, not wanting to admit he was sneaking looks at what she was working diligently at. Remus just sat there, fiddling with his hands, wishing Madam Pomfrey would come to break the tension that was building in the room.

Luckily, when Madam Pomfrey came tumbling through the fireplace, McGonagall set down her quill at last so he didn’t have to bear the stiff silence anymore, thankfully. “This is Madam Pomfrey, Lupin,” McGonagall said as the woman came nearer.

She was a kind looking witch, and she wore a huge, cheery smile on her face, as if she had never been more excited for something in her life. Though, her face immediately contorted with thought at the sight of him. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, she just looked like gears were turning in her head, telling her exactly what potions to begin brewing up.

“Nice to meet you,” Remus said politely. 

“Remus,” Madam Pomfrey said with her sweet smile, “I’ve so looked forward to meeting you.” Remus gave an awkward face back to her, a failed attempt at a smile, not knowing what else to say. 

“Shall we get going?” McGonagall suggested.

“Yes, let’s go,” Pomfrey agreed, “We’ll show you where to go and everything, dear.” He just nodded again.

Remus felt extremely uncomfortable walking through the halls with the two witches, though luckily there weren’t too many people in the corridors. As they made their way out of the castle, the two chatted away. Madam Pomfrey also began to ask Remus loads of questions, and it was very obvious she had never worked with one of his kind before. Of course, he had assumed this, as Dumbledore mentioned they made these arrangements specifically for him. But, still it made him kind of nervous, what if she didn’t know what to expect?

They explained how each month at the time of the full moon, he was to report to McGonagall’s office and she would lead him down there, or Madam Pomfrey would, whoever was available. They assured him that they had everything tested, and that their protective charms would keep him confined to his space. 

They led him down over the grounds, and towards the Whomping Willow. Dumbledore had said this was a new installment on the first night at the feast… and Remus’s heart sank when he realized this tree was here for his own purposes. Remus now realized why Dumbledore had made that odd announcement, because as he neared the tree, it began to swing its branches at them. Surely, if you weren’t careful, it could easily knock you back a good way.

Once near the tree, McGonagall pulled her wand, and levitated a branch that was sitting at it’s base. Guided by magic, the branch prodded a little button of sorts, that had blended right in with the tree. Once the button had been pressed, the tree ceased to swing its branches at them, allowing Madam Pomfrey to walk up to the tree and enter a concealed passageway, which he hadn’t even noticed before. McGonagall quickly led Remus after Madam Pomfrey, and he entered a dim little passageway, made of dirt. Remus could stand up in it just fine, but the two witches had to hunch over a little bit as they made their way through. It was kind of a long haul through the path, and Remus could feel himself limping once they got to the end of the tunnel.

The pathway ended, and they were now standing in an old house that creaked with each movement they made. The room they stood in was pretty small, but off to the right was a dull hallway with a rickety staircase, blocked off by some wooden pallets. The whole place was coated in dust, and had random things strewn about inside of it. There were windows on the far end, the side that didn’t connect to the tunnel, but they were all boarded up, and only let scattered light into the dim room. In the middle of the room, there was a small cot, covered in some musty looking blankets. Madam Pomfrey walked over to it.

“Well, I guess you can just lay down here, Remus. Is there anything you usually do before the transformation?” she asked, sounding very interested.

“No,” Remus said, not feeling like elaborating, “Just wait for it, I guess.” 

“Okay. Well, I’ll be back first thing in the morning to come get you, and to tend to you, sound good?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, making his way to the little bed. He sat on it, still facing them. McGonagall’s face was plastered with pity, and he didn’t like the look of it on her. He realized he much preferred her stern look now, even if it made him feel as if he had just committed an awful crime, but at least she gave that face to everyone - something told him her face of pity was only given on rare occasions.

“We’ll do the protective spells once we leave,” McGonagall added, “Are you sure you’re okay? Nothing you need?”

“Nope,” he said, in the best casual voice he could manage.

“Okay,” McGonagall said with a weak smile, and they turned to leave the room. He waited on the bed, until he was positive they were gone. There was a low whispering outside of the door, probably muttering the spells, but he swore he heard one of them saying his name. It made him feel sick, and slightly embarrassed - he didn’t like that his professors had to see him like this; it was honestly humiliating.

Once the whispers had gone away, he quickly took off his robes, knowing the transformations would tear them off if he didn’t. Remus now lay on the bed, feeling very vulnerable, and waited for it to come.

Time seemed to come slower in the odd shack, but slowly he started to feel it. His blood seemed to get hot, his limbs, already weak, started to bubble. And then the crushing came, the smashing weight that took over his body and made him scream out in pain. He had told himself he would keep his screams in, but there was no helping it. The pain took over his whole body, as he squirmed around, yelling out in pain for it to stop. His bones shifted, skin tightened, his neck elongated, crushing his muscles as it did so. All the soreness and aching that had been building up doubled in severity, making him lurch on the bed to try to escape it. His blood, still burning hot, settled a little bit as the rest of his body shifted about. And then, he was the wolf.


End file.
